Anyway, I had been trying for the last few weeks to call you in Toronto for our usual Sunday chat but moved apartments, and got distracted with that for two weeks prior to July 17, 2011. When I called a few times and you didn't answer I got worried and depressed as I never knew how I could reach you otherwise. I told you that I was worried about just this thing happening.

So Darrell, I finally went to the library to check the email as my computer was still packed up in a mountain of boxes. I can't express how sad I was to learn that I had lost you forever without being able to talk to you again, just one more time, or visit with you now that we were getting along so well. I know that you had so many health challenges over the years and that you ended up moving back to Ontario for the better health coverage there, but had hoped to come back to Vancouver to see me two years ago.

You had called to tell me that you just couldn't make it happen then.

I too had similar challenges going on and was faced with another situation just at the time of your passing. Sometimes life just sucks hey?

Darrell, I was not happy to get the news via Facebook, from friends and our sister but it was better than not knowing at all. I was very depressed is more like it and still am, but I was happy to find out later when I spoke to the coroner that you had passed away peacefully in your sleep in your bed, and that you were declared legally deceased on July 17th, 2011 and this is your legal date of death. I hope that you won't mind if we use this day as the day of your passing as I feel that it gives a sense of closure to all those who cared and loved you. It does for me anyway. I prefer it much better than a question mark and I am sure that you would too. You deserve better than that.

I love these new facebook photos of you and Lupo and just love the photo with your happy beaming face. I know that I heard you being just this happy this last February when you told me that you had scored that good deal on some silver clay and jewelry design tools a few months back.

Then the Japanese tsunami happened in early March and I got pretty depressed about that then thinking about those poor souls who died tragically. In our next call you had told me on the phone that you were working on some Japanese designs for your silver jewelry, cutting out the Japanese pictograms for "Love", "Peace" and "Disaster", which I thought was different but very cool, but then you were always one-of-a-kind. You called yourself an artist and I truly believe you are.

Creative, a little crazy and far-out-there...We talked about life, your travels, your adventures, about family, about the past, about secrets...about spiritual beliefs, your illnesses, your meds, your friends, your life in BC, your trailer in Chilliwack and your beautiful dog Lupo. I know that you wished to come back to BC but just couldn't make the trip although you didn't say if it was finances or health or both. I felt so disappointed but understood as I had my own bag of stuff that prevented me from getting out there. I was so happy when we moved from facebook to emails and then to phone calls once you had recovered from your heart surgery. I couldn't believe that the hospital staff had actually broken your back on the medical table, as if you didn't have enough to deal with.

You mentioned to me your battle with excruciating levels of pain...pain that really never left, so you had special pain killers. You mentioned to me that you were missing Lupo. I suggested earlier why not get another dog, but you said that you would never, ever have another dog, and we had to just let it go at that. Sometimes it was like that between us. On our last few phone calls, you mentioned that you were getting tired alot. You wanted to get back to your art.

I just wanted to talk to you for hours and hours. I told you that I was afraid that you would just disappear one day, and that there would be no way to know what had happened to you. I'd asked for you to leave my contact number around your place so that someone would call me just to inform me of your passing. Of course I'd want to know. You told me that you just wanted your body given over to science. But that is exactly what happened in my vision. And soon after you were gone.

Much too young, cut short just when you had found some creative happiness at this time in life. Not a religious but a spiritual man, not attached to earthly possessions but definitely attached still to his dog. Darrell, I have written a poem about you entitled "A Message from Darrell", but it is even longer than this letter on facebook. I hope that you will like it. I still cry for you every day. I found out about your passing away on August 17th and grieved for you as if you had passed that very day. My eyes got so big and bulbous from crying I could hardly see out of them for a few days.. I wrote the poem on August 19th but wasn't able to read it again until last night when I wrote until the wee hours finishing it. My art is in writing...I never seem to say the things I can say so easily with my pen...very strange thing that. Maybe we should have stuck to emails so as not to tire you but I am so thankful that I had the times with you that I did.